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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?